Theater and Motherhood

Some people have a lifelong plan before they hit the age of 15. Some develop a plan by the time they reach college, and stick to it, for good or ill. Others don’t figure out who they are and what they want until it’s absolutely the least convenient, almost impossible time to pursue their dreams simultaneously. That’d be me. I’ve always LOVED performing, writing, art, and similar pursuits, but a tiny crush on my pediatrician at the age of 5 led me to announce my plans to become a doctor. Stubborn kiddo that I was (am?), I held onto that ambition all the way through high school and into my first semester of college. At that point, I realized (with a little help from a painful theory heavy chemistry class) how I had been spending all of my extracurricular time since at least 4^th grade: writing, acting, doing art, speech and debate, language clubs, and so forth. True, I was fascinated by science, but not enough to study it day in and out, and certainly not enough to sacrifice so much of my life to pursue it. This would have been an excellent time to change my major to theater, or to begin pursuing theater and acting outside of a university setting, but I lacked one thing, a thing that I would not possess for a very long time: confidence. I was intimidated by theater students, certain that my desire to be a part of their world was only a delusional wish, with no “real” talent to back it up. Still, I continued to do a low scale show or two a year until I was I about to graduate from college (with a degree in history, minors in English and Computer Science – just about everything BUT theater or performing arts), at which point I finally formally announced my desire to pursue theater. I also was ready to start a family with my sweetheart – my husband of 3 1/2 years (yes, I married “early” and graduated “late”). Long story, short? I was quickly preggo with my first beautiful babe, and starting to enter the world of local/regional theater.

Fast forward a few years: I am now a part of two theater companies, do theater on a very regular basis, have 3 children under 5 ½ years, and am expanding my experience rapidly. I have acted, written, and even produced and directed (on a small scale). Not much perhaps for many theater enthusiasts, but frankly I am amazed at what the past 6 years have brought, given the time I’ve had available. As my children grow, I’ll be better able to travel farther and work more to follow my dreams to their next level. My current love is IMT: improvisational movement theatre. It’s an amazing blend of storytelling and movement, all improvised within a loose structure. You can see more about it here: www.nellweatherwax.com

So the real question begs to be answered: do theater and motherhood mesh? The answer is a complicated yes. Perhaps a better question would be: can two (or more) passions, both labor intensive and requiring focus, energy, and positive emotion, mesh? Motherhood is a passion and a calling in its own right; challenging, consuming, with an unbelievable intensity. Theater, at its best, is all of this, too. I’ve found that either ambition alone has the power to bring out my best while draining from me every ounce of energy, wearing me to a small nub of a soul. Together, carefully balanced like a vegetarian dinner in the ‘70s, what one takes away, the other gives back in spades. What I thought was an unfortunate and lamentable bit of timing, raising children and pursuing a dream, however slowly, turns out to be the best kind of grounding that I could hope for. What might seem to some a slow, tedious process has proven to be just right for me. Armed with this confidence, I know that I’ll be able not only to follow my own creative path, but to show my children how to do the same. Who knows, maybe they will use this knowledge gained at an early and impressionable age to become those rare and enviable teenagers: the ones who possess a keen understanding of self and are able to forge their path early and well. One can certainly dream!

Next time: Bitten by the Bug (what do I do now?)