Headaches

I've had a headache for about a month and a half. It's self-induced, and I've found the solution: cut back on commitments outside of the house for a bit. Unfortunately, since I just starting saying "no", it will be at least the beginning of May before I feel the positive effects of refusing to over-commit. Yikes.

In one of my first posts I wrote about the importance of being able to say no. I'll say it again, as my head throbs in agreement: Learning to say no may be one of the most important skills a person can acquire. March, April, and May seem to be the key months here for overcommitment.

The problem for me is two-fold: I like to stay busy at the end of winter in order to not fixate on the cold, and there are so many good projects to work on this time of year. A lot of these projects are not full productions, making them even more seductive because they give the illusion of not requiring as much time as a larger show. Since the beginning of February, though, I have done a "Death by Chocolate" murder mystery fundraiser; performed in a staged reading of a new musical; played a lonely woman unable to speak but desperate to communicate in a 40 minute tribute to silent cinema (aptly named "Silent Cinema"); taken a 6 week acting class (the showcase performances of which are tonight and tomorrow); begun co-producing the next Evening of Monologues; been cast in Amadeus; turned down acting in a Directors Symposium and in the same Evening of Monologues that I'm co-producing; written an article for Culture Week; and begun writing a short play for submission to a playwriting workshop. Add to that the fact that I'm taking a 3 credit class (which includes a major photo assignment that I turned in on Sunday, and a paper due tomorrow), homeschooling my kids (which includes, but is not limited to, helping my son learn about Australia for his International Fair on Thursday), and just finished helping my mom move, and it no longer surprises me that my head hurts.

I'm a Capricorn, and I've long suspected that this is what contributes to my inability to follow my own sage advice and set firm boundaries to protect my sanity. The rub is that I like to feel as if I'm accomplishing something. I enjoy being busy, and I enjoy having control over my own schedule the way that I do. I like looking back over that list and seeing how much I've done (and forgetting the headache that accompanied it). The problem is that I have to learn to choose. Because I haven't been choosy enough, I've had to turn down projects that I really wanted to do. I simply don't have the time or energy for them. Had I been choosier, though, I would have been more than able to handle the important projects that came along.

That said, I'm totally psyched about my small, non-speaking part in Amadeus. Several of the major characters are seriously professional actors and it is beyond awesome that I'll get to share the stage with them in a such a low-stress manner. Also, since it's a period piece, the costumes are most certain to be amazing. Add to that the fact that I'll be paid for my work, and I'm in total heaven.

I'm also thrilled that the work that I've done this winter has helped me to grow as an actor. The role of the mute woman, in particular, was challenging. I rely heavily on my voice (most actors do), and this role helped me become more aware of my physicality on stage. So don't despair, I suppose; if you do over-commit, take comfort in the fact that you have plenty of interesting work to keep you busy, and to hone your skills. Start being more selective, and hopefully you'll feel the effects sooner rather than later. As for me, I'll be slowing down right as summer starts heating up. Perfect timing!